Like walking for the first time

I can't believe how happy I am with shoes on! Its like the world is a better place. Highlighted how miserable I have been!
Elevated off the ground
I'm a woman, not a stupid kid who's walking around barefoot
Feel myself now
Back to normal
No one is looking at me, I can get on and get to where I need to go
Much more purpose in my step.
I don't have to look down to be careful of my tread
I was walking around just smiling at the fact that my feet were dry and cosy
Walked past my housemate. She noticed how happy I was. She stopped in her tracks and just stared at me with the biggest gasp and smile I have ever seen. I ran toward her and hugged her. She exclaimed "I'm so happy I could cry." We both had tears in our eyes.

I felt like going for massive walk. Just because I could and it be enjoyable. Feel like a whole world of options has been unleashed to me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIdHbpg0MA8

Henna
This is it
This is the end now
Tickled
Re-energised me
Brought my feet to life

Shoes on!?

The activity of me putting shoes on. The fact that I had people watching me made it feel special and momentous.
"What shoes are you going to where!?"
"Those are good socks"
It was odd going through the process of pulling the socks up, typing the shoe laces. Felt like it took forever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBNbRtVQY-Y

Washing

To mark the end of this adventure I washed and scrubbed my feet. Properly! I invited a few friends to watch me so I had some witnesses. It was strange having them watch me do quite an intimate activity. I enjoyed scrubbing away at my feet, it was extremely therapeutic. It felt like I was washing away the history of what I had done.

Washing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLGp0WgoXKw

Wonderfully clean
Brand new
Fresh
Precious

This is the end.

I walked into the studios today and collapsed into tears. I said over and over again to different people "This is the end". Mixture of results from claps, "yay's", gasps and laughs.
I really do feel like I've had enough. Plus getting the henna done today and that really is quite an appropriate marker of the end.

Last barefoot walk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dewNAK6EmVU

Aesthetic object

Wednesday evening we went to Hatch in Nottingham, a series of performances by various artists. The photographer saw my feet and said to me "Is this something I should be photographing? Is it part of tonight's performances?"

Amelia from Radar filmed my feet and said she wanted to use it in the film she was making about Hatch.

Watching a performance outside, Alex: "You should stand on your gloves. Good idea"

Johanna: "I like that you're making them into an aesthetic object. Your feet are changing."
Me: "How? How do they look?
J: "They just look like they're adapting to the cold."

The time has come?

"You've got wide soles...you've got fleshy feet"

Past couple of days it has been raining and the ground wet, so feet haven't been that dirty by the time I've walked them home. Everyone expects them to be filthy.

I've been telling people that I'm stopping on thursday because thats when I'm getting the henna finished. As I've already expressed, instead of the henna symbolising bringing something positive to Loughborough, I feel that it is also bringing something positive to me and that it is the start of me getting filled up with energy again. This project has far more overwhelmed my emotions and physicality than I thought it would and I'm ready to get some life back into me! Ready for the next challenge perhaps. Plus I'm kind of tired of people asking me how my feet are. What about how I'm doing!? 

I think its getting a bit cold

Walking to the sports hall at 7:45 am was not fun

Wind 

Rain

Puddles

Broken Umbrella

Flippin freezing

Really quite wanted to put shoes on. 

You know when your hands throb from the cold. Its weather like that now. So I'm thinking its glove weather. Wish there was an equivalent garment for my feet. Oh wait. Its called socks and shoes. Hmm...

Pretty feet

My housemates hadn't seen my feet with henna yet. I've had socks on all day in the house, so when I took them off to go to fireworks Sophie said to me "You're not going out with barefeet are you?" and shook her head in shock. Sara exclaimed "They're gorgeous"
Standing on the grassy hill waiting for the fireworks they got very cold and I trod into the mud making an indent in the ground.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8kdz0KnrHg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fse_v6k3UgY

I got the henna done as a symbol for me to be treading beauty into the ground, on a spiritual level. And that I could perhaps ritually wash away the dirt I had picked up as a sign of washing Loughborough clean and stepping beauty into the ground where ever I walk. However, today I felt like the henna was something for me to enjoy. That I feel so burdened by walking barefoot now, the henna is like a recuperation, to top me up again with energy and life. Only the top of my feet were done because it took the henna artist too long. I have her booked to finish the soles on thursday. After that, I think I will stop. However my mood with this is so unpredictable I may feel differently about it again tomorrow! But certainly today I kind of kept myself in the house because I didn't want to take my socks off in order to go outside.
(p.s. the wearing of socks came from an acknowledgment that it is harder to have cold feet in your own home where you should feel comfortable than outside, so I have been allowing myself to wear socks when I get home)

Only thing about henna is, it looks like poo

My feet wore flip flops today so that they stayed clean for the henna that I was getting done later. Reactions to my shoe-wearing:

"You cheat"

"You're shit"

"Gay"

"I thought you were meant to be barefoot"

"Do you like it?"

I didn't enjoy it. It was strange having a constant texture to have beneath my feet, felt like a platform of protection, like it really was a boundary from the dirt on the ground. I suddenly felt of the world again, felt normal again, like there is nothing no longer different about me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB5MWGVKqmU

Where've your shoes gone?

Woman in charity shop: "Where've your shoes gone?"

Me: "I don't wear shoes"

W: puzzled look on face

M: "I've been wearing no shoes for 2 weeks for a project I'm doing, I'm a fine art student"

W: "What are you doing?"

M: "I'm testing the physical limits of my body so I've taken my shoes away"

W: "I'm going to call the woman upstairs and tell her about it. She might understand what you're doing"

I sheepishly walk away telling her "No please don't do that I don't want to talk to her" in the most polite way I can. Lady appears from a staff door just as I leave the shop. I hear the woman at counter start to explain my barefootness as I am walking away.
So bizarre!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2mYRemgdsw

Socks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHmXDskohws

"Are you limping?"
"I couldn't do what you're doing because I just get angry when I'm cold"
"Are you still doing it?"
"They look swollen"

At home my feet are still cold (not got the heating on), and somehow that feels worse than when I'm outside. Maybe because when you're inside and especially when you're at home you should feel comfortable. Having cold feet in your own home is not comfortable, so for a second night, I am wearing socks to bed!